it's as though i've returned to the old jocelyn, where i get so afraid of staying home alone. yea, call me a coward. wait till you have a heart like mine(often called gullible), encountering such shit. i really thought eveything was better, like wtf? "why was i so sad about it". but i guess not, im totally not over anything. i caught myself weeping in the showers today and i'm still not going out like how i'm suppose to.

i have a different thinking now, i wanna save more than i can so that i can go somewhere worthy and forget what should be forgotten. i feel sick.