//ive edited it, i was not done with it.

somtimes i wonder whyy i always choose to hurt myself when all along i know doing what i've done would. i know that my own expectation are way too high to ever reach, yet again i choose this. and then again, i always ponder whether to pen everything down in here, cause i know people would see this, thinking that how can this "happy go lucky" creature have such a problem.sometimes i really wonder if this is what i reallly want, there are times i would feel like im the luckiest girl in the world, but there are also times when i feel like this(now). Nobody really understands me, some do say stuffs that really got me affected. i try to think of ways to improve but its beyond my reach. why? why?. who can answer me. i don't want to fall again and again. i want to proudly walk out of my room to show everyone how happy i am. to be honest, i was fine at first, i was happy not till those comments keep coming in. i think i had enough.


would you solve everything for me?.


im going on a cruise tomorrow, i reallly don't want to spoil my mood =(